Thursday, February 17, 2011

A New Chapter?

I don't know if anyone has even read this blog, but I wanted to update with some big news. If you've read this, you know my boyfriend happens to be betrothed to someone who isn't me. They married after only being together for 2 months, most likely, as a reaction to her impending deployment. She left for pre-deployment training shortly thereafter and went directly to deployment following that. Thus, she has been gone for the first year plus of their "marriage". They had discussed getting divorced before she left, but hadn't talked about it again until recently. They had been fighting, via phone calls and emails, for the past 10 days or so, but it came to a head yesterday. I was eating dinner and get a phone call from my guy and he's crying. Tells me they're splitting up and can I come be with him because he doesn't want to be alone with a bunch of guns while he's feeling this way. I made my way up there and, by the time I got there, he was feeling less emotional.

He'd told his mom what had happened and she won't let go of the thought that it'll be fixed, but he knows its over and done with. Yes, I'm shacking up with him, but it is with the permission and knowledge of his wife. He told her when we met and she okayed it, but she has now told his parents that he was cheating with me the whole time she was gone. My biggest concern over the last year has been "what's going to happen when she returns", but that's off the table now. Unfortunately, he now has the ability to leave the area because he's no longer tied to the military until 2014. This could backfire tragically for me...

I guess my friends called it right. 2 of them who know about the marriage both said they would split up. I figured it was heading that direction just because they were discussing it prior to her leaving and the issues that caused them to talk about it were never dealt with and just left to fester and get worse. I don't think they would have made it anyways just because they've both got PTSD and he's bipolar. Unfortunately, bipolars need a support system of people who don't have any mental health issues to offer the stability they need to keep themselves in check. I've seen him make huge personal strides and grow so much over the last year and I'd like to think that I have been a part of those changes occurring...

It will be nice to be able to be out in public with him and not have to worry about someone related to the military seeing or hearing something. I know he won't start with the pdas or calling me his girlfriend, but it'll be nice anyways...

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