On December 23rd, 2 days prior to Christmas and 3 prior to my birthday, and I can't find it within myself to give even the teensiest, tiniest crap about it. I'm not sure why, but I certainly don't like feeling this way. I used to love these 2 days and would get so excited months in advance. Last year and this year I don't give a flying fuck. I know part of it is because I'm fucking broke and a bigger part of it is because I'm turning 34 and am still not pregnant. All I want is to be a mom and I'm afraid it's never going to happen.
My man and I got in an argument last weekend and have since made up, somewhat, but now he's saying he'll "see me next month" and "talk to me on the 25th". What the fuck is that? Who says they love someone and then pulls that kind of shit? Who the FUCK does that??? As frustrated as he makes me, I still love him and that drives me even more crazy!
I think I'm just going to get ready for bed and cry my eyes out cuz I can't think of anything else to do right now... Pity Party for One, coming up.
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